Why is everybody grabbing me

I blame the system for not having a unanimous voice on what we should be doing. However, Peter Noel Murray, a New York-based member of the American Psychological Association and the Society for Consumer Psychology, disagreed that authority figures had the power to calm the panic-buying trend. According to Murray, cognitive and emotional responses were the two key factors involved in influencing our decisions during situations like the coronavirus outbreak.

That process makes us think that whatever the current thing is, it's similar to some terrible thing — it catastrophizes our view of whatever this thing is. In this case, Murray said, people might be associating the coronavirus with a past deadly outbreak, like the Spanish flu that killed around 50 million people worldwide. There are plenty of guys I might fancy kissing on the mouth, but to grab a passing one in the crotch and say, nice package?

Suddenly this struck him as way more sinister. Statistics show that nearly twenty per cent of women in the U. But I suspect that the figure is more like a hundred per cent for women who will have endured things many men might consider minor—an unwelcome penis pressed against your leg at a party; being humped at the water cooler; being fondled, lunged at, felt up, squeezed, rubbed against.

Verbal assaults few try to count. Did they think that coarsely describing some body part or restraining me in locked arms or bending me over furniture would help to bed me? A few tried to say that at my age I should be flattered. Not all offenses hurt the same way. Crude cracks seldom overwhelm the way a physical attack can. Nor are the sloppy lunges of somebody at a well-lit party as intimidating as some random dude grabbing you in an alley.

It deeply upset her. The point is: even a boundary violation mild enough to invoke nudges and winks among less sympathetic people can leave you feeling slimy. All of us—male and female—envision all manner of erotic encounters without acting them out. But many of my male friends brush aside the behaviors that women find truly scary, the kind we know from experience can be the prelude to a nasty or even dangerous run-in. They seem to get a perverse thrill from mortifying you.

He squeezed and was looking at me the whole time. The second time I was in the courtyard of the Grand Mosque and I felt something pressing into my lower spine. It was crowded and lots of people were bumping into each other. But the pressing continued. I turned around and saw it was a man and realized he was pressing his erection into me. He was pushing against me so hard he was almost driving me forward. He too was looking at me and holding my gaze.

I ran off and found a policeman and told him in English what had happened. He shooed me away. He had no interest in listening to me. I even pointed out the man in the crowd and the policeman still ignored me. The third time I was in a side street looking at Hajj-related merchandise. I felt a sharp jab from behind. An old man had put his hand between my buttocks with such force that his fingers were almost inside me.

It happened really fast and I cried out in shock. He looked at me and smiled and said "Alhamdulillah" ["Praise to God"]. The person at the stall had his back turned and didn't see anything. I was assaulted each time in broad daylight with thousands of people around me. I was amazed at the audacity of the three men and I was angry that there was no recourse.

I was told before I left that I might get touched inappropriately. But it didn't prepare me for the shock. I think assault happens a lot more at the Hajj than people -- Muslims -- would like to believe. It is the holiest place in Islam, a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Talking about sexual assault is difficult enough and talking about it in connection with the Hajj, which is a pillar of Islam, is even harder because it is sacred. I did return to the Hajj a few years later I would almost run to where I needed to be so nobody could touch me and did a lot of my work late at night or early in the morning when it was quieter outside.

I didn't perform tawaf and I would zip through the courtyard of the Grand Mosque. It was my second visit so I knew all the tunnels and shortcuts.

Anonymous woman, Indonesia. You reduce the risk, even if it's not an ideal solution. Or just sit on their hands when they feel the touching could happen. We can also resort to methods to keep our hands busy — fidget spinners or stress balls, for instance —especially in those moments our thumbs are idle.

But fidgeting with objects also increases the number of surfaces we are touching, so they do have to be disinfected often. Wearing gloves also offers little protection as they can still pick up the virus and spread the contamination. And even with the most diligent of people might struggle to keep from touching their faces completely. Instead the World Health Organization recommends frequent hand washing , maintaining your distance from others and avoiding physical contact such as shaking hands.

As an award-winning science site, BBC Future is committed to bringing you evidence-based analysis and myth-busting stories around the new coronavirus. You can read more of our Covid coverage here. Join one million Future fans by liking us on Facebook , or follow us on Twitter or Instagram. If you liked this story, sign up for the weekly bbc.